Take a seat at the table
As a kid I spent holidays on my Aunty and Uncles vineyard in the Margaret River region, playing cricket, building a dam in a drainage ditch, and on occasion pruning some vines, although I always suspected I did some irreparable damage to those vines. As teenager the town of Margaret River meant feeling special by visiting the bakery and then wandering up the street to be confused in the new age shop as I tried to work out how the dream catchers, crystals and incense worked to together to create a better me.
In my later teens, Margaret River meant, a bakery visit then to the surf shop for a browse.
In my 20’s Margaret River and the region is where I brought school groups for outdoor education camps, where these kids would connect with natural world and themselves creating a pivotal learning experiences that they would carry for life.
From an early age I knew my dad didn’t grow up in Margaret River, but he was born here. I had a connection here, family links and a history. There is something about the place that feels like home and has a special connection. It is a part of my story and my father’s story and I have roots here.
Town’s like Margaret River tend to create “opportunities” for connecting with people you recognise when you’re out and about in town. Urban designers and community development people know that these “opportunities” can create connection to a place, reduce crime, promote wellbeing, and increases health outcomes in the community.
I ended up living and working overseas for almost two decades. Living in a new environment and culture was an exciting life experience that I hope my children are now enjoying. They were born overseas and are now experiencing ‘my’ culture and country. I have to say that it is a culture shock to them and also to us after living so many years abroad.
Part of this journey is that I’m now reconnecting with my Australia identity, which includes rediscovering Margaret River/Wooditjup. I still visit my Aunty and Uncle for some continuity and look for the things I still remember amongst the new.
Part of the new is being the WA Region Host for an organisation that builds connections in local communities. The Men’s Table establishes groups of 8-12 men in local communities, across Australia, to connect men each month for a meal and some real conversation; creating a deeper sense of belonging.
Building connections in local communities has a deep resonance for me. I spent close on two decades in China and amongst other things I got to help expatriates belong. I learned that the things that were hardest to say good bye to when we left China were the things that we were most connected to. These connections can be simplified into five things: people, places, possessions, pets, and yes professions. Connection to all of these or a combination of some of them build into our identity.
For me I’m more likely to emphasis my connection to people and places than possessions, pets and professions. Though ironically, it’s my current ‘profession’ with The Men’s Table that emphasises connection to people and places. So, I genuinely feel positive connection to my profession and this builds into my identity.
The Men’s Table is all about supporting these “opportunities” by widening healthier relational connections. The Men’s Table is a simple concept of eating, talking, and listening, but our research shows the impact on the life on those who join in creates a more contented person.
Our research also looks at the ripple effect on the family, friends, colleagues and communities of these men experience the positive impact of a man who is better connected to others and themselves. They belong. Our world really does change one person at a time when each person can say with contented satisfaction, “I belong”.
What I genuinely love about The Men’s Table is it builds real relational connections at the community level. I’ve been alive just long enough now to realise that relationships are my most valuable and sustainable asset, if I invest in them.
The Men’s Table is an opportunity for men to talk more than just about footy and sh*t. It is not a therapy group or a support group but it is a group of men who talk with some authenticity and learn to listen without fixing.
So, the experience probably is a therapeutic and supportive one… just like any healthy friendship that fosters genuine sharing and listening.
On 6 June at the River Hotel we’re holding a Men’s Table introductory dinner. See the sign-up link: https://themenstable.org/margaretriverentree6june/ Places are limited. There are no fees, just cover the cost of your meal. Also, you can find out more at www.themenstable.org or email: hello@themenstable.org or call 1800 636 782.
Damian Tapley is the WA Region Host for the Men’s Table. He is a father and husband and has a deep connection to Wooditjup and looks forward to welcoming men to the inaugural Men’s Table event on June 6 at the River.
